Much has been made in the news lately about people in the Trump administration being refused service or shouted out of restaurants for the actions of their political party. I admit that the first time I heard of these accounts, I was filled with schadenfreude. I disagreed with the Trump administration's actions regarding the separation of families at the border, and like many people, I listened to the wails of children separated from their parents with a mixture of despair and anger. Kirstjen Nielsen doesn't get to enjoy her tacos? Sarah Huckabee Sanders has to pack up and leave before the entrees arrive? Vive la résistance!
As the days went by and these stories persisted in the media, I had to reflect on how I feel regarding these scenarios not from the standpoint of a Democrat, but that of a server. In my career I have waited on some very unsavory characters. I brought an animal abuser his vodka and sprite. I rang in New Year's with an incredibly successful right-wing radio host. The guy who may have raped a woman in a public bathroom? Yup, served him several times.
And do you know how I would characterize my evenings with these men? They were fine, and occasionally, enjoyable.
Don't think I didn't want to go out on the dining room floor and tell them what I really thought of them. But that's not the job. The job is to force a smile and serve them dinner. Because that's what you agree to when you say you want to work in the field of hospitality. Sure, it's easy to be hospitable with people you like. Things get tougher when you have to be nice to someone with whom you disagree. I discussed this topic last night with my coworkers, and none of us came forward to say that the denial of service was the right thing to do. One colleague simply shook her head and said, "No. We're the innkeepers." I love that imagery, and for me, it makes a point: Surely the left can't expect the Trump administration to let people in to our country if we won't even let people we disagree with into our restaurants.
Yet there are many who are celebrating these establishments for taking a stand for what they believe in. And I cannot argue that it is not within the owners' rights to refuse service to anyone for any reason. However, I have to ask if it has benefited them or their cause the way they thought it would. Dipping toes into refusing service to anyone from the Trump administration is the first step on a slippery slope to a nation where establishments are red and blue and my friend has a hard time finding someone to bake his big gay wedding cake. It's madness, and ineffective, and just because one side does it doesn't mean that the other has to retaliate. Instead, may I suggest we all make sure to vote? My best friend loves to say that "In a capitalist society, your dollar is your vote." So why not take the proceeds from Ms. Sanders' meal and throw it behind the opposing candidate? In my mind there are better ways to resist, ones that don't make the communal table an unwelcoming place.
If you say that I have an oddly utopian vision of restaurants, well, you're right. I believe they can be places where you get a glimpse not of someone's unwavering political ideals but of their humanity. We've all gotta eat, and that's a tie that binds. I've seen many heated debates cut short at the appearance of delicious food. A glass of wine and good conversation can massage the awkward friction out of opposing viewpoints and lead to more understanding, if not necessarily agreement. We have to encourage going to places where we will run into people that think differently than us, because communicating solely with members of our own herd is not working. Positive change doesn't happen when you slam the door.
There are many political ideas that I consider distasteful, damaging, and downright frightening. But I am hard-pressed to think of a scenario where I would refuse to serve someone should they enter my restaurant. To me, being of service to others does not come with qualifications. The ideology that I hold higher than that of my political agenda is that food on the table can, and should, bring people together. The owner of the restaurant that kicked out Sarah Huckabee Sanders stated in USA Today that "We just felt there are moments in time when people need to live their convictions." That is a choice she and the staff of her restaurant are happy to have made. My conviction is that everyone is welcome at my table. I am an innkeeper.
