The last guests I discussed were glowing newlyweds, and this week I'm going to discuss a possible divorce. Circle of life, man.
I assume that when you go out for a nice meal at a fancy restaurant, you are looking for a good time. Likewise, you can safely assume that the servers at said restaurant are trying their best to make it enjoyable for you.
Despite our best efforts, there are times when the composed plates and romantic candlelight just can't gloss over the baggage that customers bring with them through the door. I witnessed a marriage meltdown this weekend and it really threw me off my game.
It began quite normally. They came in dressed to the nines. We shared some chit chat, they had some cocktails, and I entered their order into the computer. Their first two courses arrived and were consumed without incident. Their entrees came out, and were angrily shoved to the side with nary a bite taken out of them.
"Is everything ok with your meals?"
"It's FINE. Everything is fine!" the wife said excitedly.
"You didn't eat anything and I'd happily get you something else if you didn't enjoy these..."
"It's fine! Really, everything is fine."
Repeating that everything is fine is a giant red flag that everything is not fine.
I mistakenly assumed that something must have been wrong with the dishes, and sent my manager out to check on the table. He came back and told me that -- you guessed it -- they were fine.
As I was greeting my next guests, they interrupted me to ask if I was serving the aforementioned couple and said, "We want to know what's going on because they obviously hate each other."
What? How had I missed the signs? I was so sure that the restaurant had made a mistake that I didn't even pay attention to the fact that the lady was flushed and the couple had stopped talking. They were looking anywhere around the restaurant but at each other.
As I brought them the check I noticed tears in her eyes and a huge shit-eating grin on his face.
Sadly, scenes like this happen at my restaurant almost every weekend. Usually, the negative emotions are a little more overt. People sob hysterically at the table. Or, spouses snipe at each other before one of them gets up and leaves in the middle of dinner.
I love my job because of all the humanity that walks through the door, but I'd obviously prefer it if those humans were happy. It's hard to approach a table when there's blatant anger or sadness in the air. They usually force a smile and say they're enjoying everything -- guests in a nice restaurant sometimes feel they have to keep up appearances as much as the staff do. Sometimes I wish they wouldn't. It's none of my business, but the wife could have just said, "We're having a disagreement and won't be finishing dinner, check please." At least it would have saved them a visit from the manager.
However, there is definitely a line. When the conversation is going south and it's creating a distraction for the other tables, it's obviously a problem. So customers can cool it with raised voices and wild gesticulations. Also, I wish they wouldn't drag the staff into it. My co-worker was asked by a husband in hot water if she thought he was being an asshole. Rude. And, the answer is yes. Finally, if someone looks like this, it's time to go home:
I could bring you a tissue, but I'd rather bring you the check.
However, if a customer is bawling their eyes out and they choose to air their dirty laundry in my restaurant for all the public to see, then that's totally fine. Everything is fine! It's so fine.