We're in the thick of the holiday season and I thought I'd let you all in on what it's really like to spend those important dates -- December 25, the fourth Thursday in November, December 31 -- at work.
Restaurant staff aren't alone in this sacrifice, obviously. Lots of industries require their employees to keep operations running 24/7/365. And so I know I'm not alone when I say that it's really painful the first time you have to leave your family on a holiday. In the beginning, it's practically unthinkable. When we're young, we go to school and are raised in a world of Christmas breaks and weekends off and our young minds are trained to believe that it will always be this way. That first holiday at work? It's shattering.
So what does the dining public do to make us feel better on Christmas? Surprisingly little. Every year I naively think that people will tip big on December 25th, to make up for the fact that I am a poor schmuck clearing dirty dishes off a table when I should be sipping eggnog by my fireplace. Hope springs eternal. And yet, every year, I re-learn my lesson. The customers are the same, the food is the same, the tips are the same. I'm not complaining about the money, because my job is a jolly old elf that treats me well year round. I just want to dispel a myth that everyone seems to believe: The tips are not bigger on holidays. My theory is that guests have spent so much on Christmas presents they don't have much left in the budget.
Even without extra money, working on holidays gets a little easier each year. I've learned to cope by carving out special times to get together with loved ones when I do have a day off. My husband and I throw a "Friendsgiving" party several days before Thanksgiving and invite all of our friends from food & beverage. I appreciate it as much as any holiday, and when I head to work on the "real" Thanksgiving, I truly feel like I've already had my celebration. I punch in and get to business as if it's any other Thursday. Because to me, it is. Forcing myself to let go of specific dates on the calendar and enjoy celebrations whenever they fall has been a saving grace.
This doesn't mean it's easy on my family. Anybody who works in hospitality will tell you that it takes a long time for friends and family to understand that we work EVERY weekend, and EVERY holiday. Behold many memes that illustrate this fact:
Family and friends might understand that we have to work the 4th of July or Mother's Day, but ask, "Thanksgiving TOO?" when we tell them we won't be there for dinner. They are aghast to learn that the restaurant is also open on Christmas. They repeatedly ask, "Can't you request off that day?" No. The answer is no. In my experience it takes about two years of "No I can't ask off" being beaten into their heads before they come to accept that fact.
No, Aunt Bethany, I can't ask off. If it were as simple as asking for the holiday off, then everyone would do it and the restaurant would be closed.
And the fact of the matter is that we feel guilty when a Christmas miracle occurs and we are able to get off. Sure, we might be home celebrating with our real families, but we sort of let down our work family. We signed up for this. We knew what the gig entailed, and we said we'd go through it together. Working a holiday is just another form of the stress that we're supposed to be bonding over, along with busy dinner shifts and crazy guests.
So this year I'll wear a Santa hat to work and have fun looking goofy for an hour or two before the guests arrive and it's time to get down to business. My New Year's Eve will be spent watching women in sequins and men in tuxes slurp back champagne before they head off to watch the ball drop. But don't worry about us servers, because we'll get ours. We might be in the back polishing racks and racks of glassware, but people in food & beverage never miss a chance to make a toast.
Bollinger, anyone?
Cheers to you and yours this Christmas!!
