I am a human landfill.
There is nothing I won't eat, and I'm also no germaphobe. I believe that the digestive system is the most powerful weapon in the human immune system, and I don't shy away from many things. True story: one day I was cleaning my car and found an old french fry on the floor. I ate it.
I work in an industry that is rife with waste. I see people order tons of food each year -- literally, tons! And I watch as half of that food goes into their belly and the other half gets thrown into the garbage. So I'm going to tell you what you probably already guessed about me: I am eating your uneaten food in the back.
LISTEN. I go entire weeks where I bring some of the most delicious food I've ever seen to guest, after guest, after guest. The envy starts to get to me. One week I focus on just how good our steak fries look, and then the next week I serve some more, and by the third week I am so obsessed with getting my hands on one that I can't resist. I clear a guest's plate and can't help but eat the cold one that they haven't touched.
On other nights, it's just that I'm simply starving. I may have eaten a quick meal at 5:00, but it's currently 10:00 and I've been running around for five hours, and the hunger in my belly overrides everything else. Boom! I'm eating one of your kid's chicken fingers. For the protein, of course.
Perhaps my dirtiest little secret is the time I served a bunch of country club members having a birthday luncheon. They ate, drank, and enjoyed what looked like a delicious cake. When they left the private dining room, I was all alone with cake and no fresh silverware. Powerless to resist, I simply remembered where my favorite regular sat, and ate her leftovers with the fork she had used.
If you're turned off by this, then trust me, you are not alone. My co-workers tease me constantly. They will shove a plate of scraps in my face and say, "Sarah, you sure you don't want a bite of this before I throw it in the trash?" I'll take the jokes, but I love to remind them that deciding whether or not to eat off of someone's plate is basically the same as deciding whether or not you'd kiss someone you just met at a bar. And trust me, I've had some promiscuous coworkers. They've "wooed" many a lady they just met, and yet they think I'm gross for eating an untouched roll. Double standard.
So, I've heard all the arguments. Some people consider this something they'd never do. One chef with a flair for the dramatic lectured me about possibly contracting Hepatitis C...from a french fry. Then he went outside to smoke his twentieth cigarette of the day. So with that I'll just remind everyone that we all choose what risks we take in life. Instead of asking if you agree with me or my co-workers, I'll leave you with the only question I care about: Are you gonna finish that?
